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Silence in the Library

by Brendan Bonsack

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1.
We break into a ruin For that shard of golden light And I never want to be This happy again We can't go near the lake, you said No-one comes out alive Oh I never want to be This happy again In the waterless deep end with you, oh Such ever pretty tiles I never want to be This happy again You might be a dancer In the life you never lived, I could Kiss you where the music Always hurt you like it did Silence in the library Sands of books up to our knees Oh I never want to be This happy again The footnotes are our language They're all we understand Oh I never want to be This happy again You might be a dancer In the life you never lived, I could Kiss you where the music Always hurt you like it did We break into into a ruin Just as easy as a song Oh I never want to be This happy again Let them deduce just how we loved by The arrangement of our bones Oh I never want to be This happy again Not every lake But any lake May be sole a body of tears We break into a ruin For that shard of golden light And I never want to be This happy again You might be a dancer In the life you never lived, I could Kiss you where the music Always hurt you like it did
2.
I recall Uncle predicting Google. With Father at the table, and the smoke plume that smelled of marshmallow and made me jumpy giddy sleepy. The problem with people who say the problem with people is the problem with people, he said. I was eight, but I remember exactly the feeling of that, rolled in my earlobe like a tiny plastic ball-bearing maze. One of these days, machines will answer back so quick you won’t have time to know if they’re lying. Put the launch codes in the heart of a man. Not EVERY man, but ANY man. The war of the many mushroom clouds Begins with a dagger in the hands of a grifter Going door to door for each chest. Uncle was a champion racer in the United States of America. Met Mister Kennedy just days before his date with destiny. Mother had a yellowed picture from the paper. But then there was this fire. Uncle told me to never be frightened of Brezhnev and The Bomb. The end won’t come in brimstone, he said, switching the nightlight on. It’ll be boring like a virus, from a supermarket chicken, or a deep jungle frog. Sleep well, my boy. See you, anon. Google me sometime.
3.
That Bridge 03:09
It’s a long walk to the middle Of that bridge, of that bridge And the chill is fierce On the side of midnight you chose I want to think I want to think I want to think I want to think I want to think that as the breeze Whistled through the wires You were reminded of the trees The trees to which we nailed I need to think I want to think I want to think I want to think Think of those precarious floors Steering wheels And dread pirate flags And the splintery fence paling plank Out over the yard I need to think I need to think I need to think I need to think Think of how each of us knew It was much Much too far to jump And how each of us was lying That we had done it We had done it I need to think I want to think I like to think I like to think I like to think that’s why you didn’t at least, if not for love I want to think
4.
Oh, Hansel dear, the breadcrumbs haven’t worked at all As we slept the woods were eaten by a city wide and tall And all those candy houses bear our story on repeat And birds lay flattened in moon-shone patches all along the streets Brother, I still wonder I’ve become but skin and bone Have I simply followed you too far My pockets weighed with stones? Oh, Hansel dear, the breadcrumbs haven’t worked at all As we slept they were swept and packed for market at a price we can’t afford And all those sugar-coated chimneys with their sweet smelling plumes I knocked on every single door today and everyone refused me Brother, I still wonder I’ve become but skin and bone Have I simply followed you too far My pockets weighed with stones? Oh, Hansel dear, the breadcrumbs haven’t worked at all And I keep hearing ‘cross the pebble-peppered cul-de-sacs the warning of the woodcutter calling Don’t bite to taste the hand that offers you a meal, A meal through the cage Well, that is how it was always told to me when I was just your age Brother, I still wonder I've become but skin and bone Have I let my hands sleep too long inside My pockets full of stones? Brother, I still wonder I’ve become but skin and bone Have I simply followed you too far My pockets weighed with stones?
5.
When the king falls We'll weep the tears that ought to be wept We'll sleep the sleeps that should have been slept We'll kick the leaves that would have been swept When the king falls We'll dance the steps we were taught to forget, Re-sing the tunes we were taught to neglect, Find all the things that should have been kept Blindness will fade, When the king falls The hunger will subside again, When the king falls I will learn to love again, When the king falls We will be alive again, When the king falls When the king falls I'll feel the things that should have been felt, I'll yell the yells that should have been yelled, I'll fix the things that couldn't be helped. When the king falls I'll ask the things that were never asked He'll be smaller then - without his mask - He'll be all alone like the rest of us. I will see clear again, When the king falls The hunger disappear again, When the king falls We will learn to love again, When the king falls I will be alive again, When the king falls When the king falls We'll take the hands that couldn't be held We'll break the bars and rattle the bells Re-fill the jars with beautiful smells When the king falls I'll make the calls that should have been made I'll light all the lights and lift all the shades I'll be the one who couldn't be saved I will be here again, When the king falls The hunger disappear again, When the king falls I will learn to love again, When the king falls We will be alive again, When the king falls

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released July 22, 2021

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Brendan Bonsack Melbourne, Australia

"Bonsack has one of those voices that fills a room with golden light" ~ Nkechi Anele, Triple J Radio.

This is a selection of Brendan's preposthumous works. For more music please head over to brendanbonsack.com.

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